Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize