Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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