So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
