Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
