its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
