She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
