i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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