woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
