oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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