I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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