But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
