I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize