so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
