I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
