Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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