when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize