I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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