You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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