Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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