please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
