No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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