Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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