i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
