Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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