I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
