Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
