So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
