I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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