I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I have already put on my inside pants.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
