Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
