I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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