why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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