i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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