I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize