Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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