she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
