I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
