i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
