They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
