i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize