Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she peed on how many people?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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