apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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