States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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