I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't deserve a penis
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
