Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
you made out with another girl for some wings
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
