:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
