Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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