wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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