I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
