Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
