I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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