I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
