Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
