Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize