if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
