five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
