What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
