dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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