Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
