4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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