I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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