so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize