That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
