don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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