Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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