So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
