did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Someone shattered a urinal.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
