You made me cry and you don't even care
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
