i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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