It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Randomize
