I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
