Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize