you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
