I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
