I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
even my farts smell like vagina
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
