i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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